What Death Taught Me About Love...

February 6, 2019

Happy New Year.

Yes, I know it’s day 32 of this New Year, but I truly want to finally wish you a Happy New Year.


See, when the 1st rolled around, I chose not to send you the obligatory “Happy New Year” wish. If you were like me, your inbox was inundated with wishes from every store, person, and company you’d interacted with in 2018...and I didn’t want She Dates Savvy’s NEW YEAR NEWS to get lost in the mix. The plan was to message you later that week to let you know the WEBINAR was FINALLY happening and I was starting a GROUP COACHING PROGRAM as a way to reach more women...but, then...life happened, hard and fast.


On January 2nd after a long battle with Lupus and its complications, one of my Sweet Dear Cousins died. It was heartbreaking because she was a wonderful woman and, because her son had just buried his father (her Husband) months before. Now she was gone. I found some peace in knowing her physical suffering was over, but still missed her.


Then, on January 6th, another Cousin, as Dear to me as a Brother fell ill and suddenly died. This rocked me to my core. He was 45, and it happened so fast. I was heartbroken for his Mother, his Brothers...and most of all for his Wife. You see, after many years of dating, they got married last summer. I grieved on a couple of different levels with his death. On one level I grieved for my Cousin who I would never see again on this side. On a deeper level—as a woman—I grieved for his Wife who had just lost her Rock. Her Husband. Her Best Friend. Her One. They were the epitome of “you’re all I need to get by...”


If I’m to be completely honest, I couldn’t help thinking what I would do if something were to happen to Reginald. When he and I first began dating I PRAYED SO HARD for him and over him because I felt so blessed to have him, and his love was like no other I’d ever known. I wanted to let God know that I needed Reginald for a long time, not just as a lesson of how good love could be. So, seeing her without her love was heartbreaking.


And then, my Cousin’s Wife sent me this note to put in my Cousin’s funeral program.


My Husband, My Heart, My Soul, My Best Friend...

I feel your presence Baby. You have given me enough love to last a lifetime. I am beyond grateful for every second that we had with each other, and I look forward to spending eternity with you. You were my angel here on earth, and now you are my Guardian Angel in Heaven. What more could I ask for? I'll see you when I get there, and I know you will be waiting!


I wept again. And then I felt such joy for her because I knew she would miss him like crazy, but I knew she had experienced such love. I thought about the old adage, “It’s better to have love and lost than to have never had love at all.” And then I thought about you ladies, and the work we do together. I’ve said many times that I do what I do because I want you to experience the love I have been so blessed to enjoy, and I mean that even more now.



His Wife said that my Cousin has given her enough love to last a lifetime. I know she misses him, but I just have to smile knowing that she felt the love he had for here. My Cousin was a giver and had a heart for people. Even in his death he brought so many people together for one last gathering, all in his name.


And just like the perfect Guardian Angel, he sent me down an unexpected blessing too. Years ago when I worked on the talk and court shows, he used to love showing his friends my name when it came up in the show credits. Well, wouldn’t you know that while I was with my family making final plans for his funeral arrangements I got a message from a Producer at Steve Harvey’s Talk Show about an appearance to talk about online dating. Once I caught my breathe and realized it wasn’t a joke, we all laughed at how even from up above my Cousin was still orchestrating a way to show people my name.


So, as this first month of the New Year comes to a close, I had to come to you with a wish for the New Year. I wish you all the LOVE YOUR HEART CAN HOLD! Be bold...LOVE HARD...OPEN YOUR HEART, because as you know, tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.



P.S. The show airs February 6th. Check local listings for time, and set your DVRs! And be sure to lookout for the next emails from me, as I begin to announce new programs launching!




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